faghog virus: another unforeseen pandemia

when everyone keeps on contemplating how it feels to love someone who cannot love you back, cheryl on the other hand, is actually thinking the same thing but with a different baggage. 

she is fond of loving guys who cannot love her back simply because they share the same preference. but despite this, cheryl is optimistic. most of the time, she continues seeing and/or loving them thinking of two reasons: first, that is if she continued being with them, they will atleast end up being friends and her feelings toward them will fade: or second, she will be able to convince them to go "back" to the other table and end up on her side. 

when cheryl and i first met, she was the kind of person that knows what she wants and does everything to get it. she has a very assertive personality that she would not have second thoughts in saying what she feels straight to your face. at first, i felt quite intimidated by her. but when she began dropping her wall and opened herself (not figuratively), i saw her vulnerable side.

cheryl confesses that she is a proud faghog, straight people that hog opposite sex gay people for themselves, and its not the first time she fell for a gay man. she explains that she easily get attracted with them because they are more sensitive, emotional, has a better sense of humor and sweeter than most of the straight men she have met and dated. 

moreover, she had a number of incindents where she confessed her feelings to them. but none of these incidents came to her side--- until she met Jerome.

Cheryl and Jerome are officemates. they easily got along since they were assigned in the same department at work. they would smoke together, share lunch and almost inseparable. and as expected, Cheryl found herself falling inlove to him. until one night, Jerome asked for Cheryl's shoulders because of a problem that was starting to affect his life and their work. he confessed that he was gay and nursing a broken heart, after his partner left abroad and told him he doesn't believe in long distance relationships. 

Cheryl was rattled with the realization that she fell for another again. but this didn't shake her ground. she pursued and later on confess her feelings to him, which didn't take the two of them to end up together. 

call it rebound but who cares! cheryl exclaimed as she was telling the story.

for her, loving is a risk and like most hopeless romantics, she believes that love knows no boundaries, faces nor gender. and although loving is not learned, atleast its worth giving a shot. thus, she or they pursued. 

until one day, which happened to be a week ago, she contacted me and asked me to meet her up for dinner. there she confessed, that after three months of going steady with Jerome, she found out that he was actually seeing another guy behind her back. she never confronted Jerome about it and for the first time in her life, she lost all her guts to tell what she feels to someone. she felt scared because of the possible outcome of breaking up and her hesitation left her so helpless. 

i really felt bad for cheryl. but in a way, i don't know who to blame. if its her because of her persistency in pursuing someone who she knows in the beginning is gay or Jerome for entering into a relationship that is beyond the boundary of his true preference and not keeping up to that committment he made.

knowing cheryl, i didn't say a word or any advise to her because i am confident enough that she knows what i am going to say. i realized that whenever she has problems all she just needs is to someone to hear her rants and someone who she can vent out her frustrations and problems. 

she texted me again earlier and it was inevitable for me to ask how they were? she told me she will still keep the relationship and ignore first what she found out. she really wanted it to work. thus, she is willing to adjust and hopefully through time, Jerome will realize her worth. 

i really don't have any qualms about it. but my only concern is how this relationship will end up. indeed, cheryl is not throwing stones to the moon and such relationships do exist. but there are just cases from which a person just needs to respect another's preference, in order for them to work harmoniously. 

perhaps, i could never understand how this kind of set up works because to begin with, i am not the person who is investing emotions here. i just hope that wherever this relationship leads, cheryl will be able to enjoy the true happiness she deserves.