the unEXpected

what if one day, you were walking along the university oval talking with a friend regarding a paper that you were cramming to pass that afternoon. while you were busy composing your thoughts and discussing it to him, you suddenly saw a familiar figure from a afar. you wanted to deny the speculation that was running in your head, thus you continued talking to you friend, pretending as if it is no big deal. but you noticed that you can't take away your eyes from the image. then suddenly, it smiled, it affirmed everything. for the first time ever, after an informal break up that left me thinking what went wrong, i saw my ex?

for many nights, everytime i walked pass the streets of makati going to work, i rehearsed all possible reactions i can think of, just in case we cross our ways. since my ex is also living and working in makati.

here are the different reactions that i have devised based from what i have observed from other people's experiences.

first reaction, "the kiber." there is a 94% chance that person will just continue walking and eyes straight ahead, pretending as if s/he haven't seen his/her ex's. although, s/he is too big, too tall or even too loud to miss.

second reaction, "the pretentious papampam." there is a 85% chance that a person will not acknowledge the presence of his/her ex's. but would device noticeable gestures that send out signals to the ex indirectly applying, "look at me asshole/bitch! i am more gorgeous, better and happier than ever. it's your loss, loser!" sometimes, pretending laughing and having the time of their life is the usual scenario with this very pretentious behavior.from there, the air will start to taste bitter and everyone can create homemade bitter herb capsules.

third reaction, "the frustrated action star." there is a 53% chance that a person, from the moment s/he smelled his/her ex, will immediately look, approach and beat the hell out of him/her. especially if s/he came from a very traumatic, nerve-wracking and frustrating relationship with his/her ex.now, you ask why s/he left you?

fourth reaction, "the next chelsea doll." there is a 16% chance that a person will acknowledge that s/he noticed his/her ex. but will give out that devilish stare that will make the his/her ex's eyes to bleed that balls out of him/her and even make him/her hear an echoing fleet of a million curses in his/her head.

it is the kind of stare that cesar montano gave out to dawn zulueta in antipolo massacre and with the goal of driving the person nuts like in the movie patayin sa sindak si barbara. thus, we can hide his/her name under the name chelsea.

fifth reaction, "the freakazoid." there is a 91%chance that a person will freak out by the moment s/he will see his/her ex. this is the kind of person that cannot compose his/her thoughts and action plans toward such scenarios. but these people don;t usually don't freak out because of they don't have any plans. infact, they are able to produce a long list of "appropriate solutions." but since it ends with the letter S, they immediately panic in choosing one among the-guiness-book-of-record-the-longest-action-plans-if-you-see-your-ex list. so usually, they just end up nailed in where they are standing, dehydrating theirselves with sweat and trembling like a horny hamster.

and finally, "the outgoing, care-free and could not care less personality." there is a 50% chance that a person will smile back to his/her ex, make a brief "kamustahan" and then proceed with their own lives. no need to ask for any explanation, upbrading or what your bitter mind have you.

the next question is which among these reactions did i utilize when i off guardedly saw my ex?
well, of course, you are just that darn boring ("HOWS YOUR CHILDHOOD, DUDE?!) if you haven't figure out that the general answer to such question is the last answer. its what we call finale.

when he smiled, i smiled back, gave out an expression of surprise and asked A, "what are you doing here?"

A answered, "I am returning back to school. hoepefully, i'll be able to finsih my degree this time."

"oh yeah? good. well good luck!"

"yeah. thanks!"

we waived our farewells with the smile still in our faces. then we walk our ways in opposite directions. it was liberating and actually felt really good. it felt like as we were walking away from another, it confirmed me that its finally over. although, i have long moved on but that incident finally put a dot on everything that we had. and the best part was we walked from each other smiling.

*no actual survey or study was conducted. the statistical figures are fictitious. it do not and WILL not EVER reflect any actual accounts. the following article is classified with the second reaction, papampam and just a product of my imaginitive and bored to death mind.

film spoiler: grande ecole, understanding art films

when mecir heard the song his brother composed, he didn't like it. the song was a love song, thus, for him it shouldn't be that tragic. it should implore more of a celebration, where everyone should be at the highlight of their lives and rejoicing for they have finally met the person who will complete them. until mecir finds out how idealistically romantic he was.

the film grande ecole is a french film that tells the story of paul, a rich graduate school student who fell in the depths and complications of both his girl friend's bet another person's love and even his own. the bet is all about who will able to seduce paul's new room mate, louis-arnault. they have decided that if agnes wins, paul will be forced not to explore his sexuality anymore, which was wins, agnes will leave him.

but in between this, paul meets mecir, a young arabic worker, who will eventually fell in love with him. until everyone will realize the meaning of life far from what they it to be.

at the end, mecir will recall one of the lines in his brother's song. "now, i walked with my head up in the stars to keep my tears from fallin." from there, he realizes what love really is, different from what he have thought it to be.

for me, there are four things that make a film a good one. first, if it is able to effortlessly tackle a wide array of issues. second, if it is able to transgress the audience from being one. third, if it makes the audience think instead of just taking what is being fed. and finally, if it is able to make the audience carry the story even after the film has ended. unsurprisingly, grand ecole bagged all these qualifications.

with the emergence of various indipendent movies from all corners of the media industry, no one can blame an audience, if he just get tired of getting the same bitter doze of what most call as art films. typically, the ingredients are low resolution camera, random actors, gruesome story plot that should touch an "immoral" or taboo subject. mix them together and alas! here goes your art film. but putting naked bodies in the film don't necessarily constitute an art film and this is what the film subtly tells us. you just don't put something into a scene and let the audience figure it out and connect it the story. although grand ecole exposed quite a large number of naked and provoking bodies in the film, it didn't leave its audience figuring where to jump to next. it provided a subtle and dimly exposing idea of what is it all about, in order to, to sew the great pattern.

for the new film makers, just please consider this entry.

the lost me

for the longest time, i have preferred not to talk about anything political in this blog. the choice came from my conscious bias on where i stand regarding the country's political situation.some call it leftist. but for me, its more of being critical--- in the most objective way possible.
i have been an activist during my entire college stay. coincidentally, in a university, where majority of the students are deemed to be one, atleast during my time.


whenever i hear the news, i just can't stop myself from thinking, where will i be now? or what am i doing, if i opt in staying in the movement? will i be happier?


different from the common perception of people that being an activist is an idle person's activity, being cynical or even moves of the hopeless, it is actually the other way around.


honestly, i enjoyed my experiences being one. its not only the thrill of chasing with the police, ranting among rallies and mobilizations, and attending endless meetings. but more with regard to meeting various faces and stories and most of all learning and actually contributing something for the society. i must say that its definitely exhausting. but at the end of the day, i feel somehow fulfilled. regardless, if the results of all these that i am or we are fighting for are unsure. probably, this is what makes us going, believing for what you are fighting for and you know is right. but recently, i began losing track of this essence.


with all the news that is bombarding us, it seemed like regradless, how intense the rallies and movements are, everything ends up to nothing. thus, it makes me think is the country's government already hopeless? i wondered where jun lozada is, now? and how come despite tons of news about corruptions and anomalies in the government, majority of the people still care less?


a friend from baguio, who is now based here in manila, invited me to a demonstration in recto a couple of months back. but i declined the invitation because i felt that i have already outgrown that stage of my life and already have a different priority. but when i reached home that night, i felt frustrated, as if i haven't really accomplished anything. then i realized, what makes me different from these people who don't care about the government?


yes, ofcourse, it easier for us to say that we our contributing in our own ways? and yes, there are indeed a number of other ways for us to contribute. but the question is, are we really doing and living it?


someone once told me that probably filipinos are just tired of all these for they don't see any favorable results in joining such: going to the streets, conducting mobilizations and what have you. but i believe otherwise. for me, i believe that most filipinos just still feel guilty about the mistake of throwing an administration for another, which is worst. thus, no one dares to commit the same mistake again.


but one should know that in commiting mistake, it doesn't stop from just admitting it and accepting its consequences. we should all learn how to correct this mistake. one should also put in mind that there are actually no maximum numbers of committing mistakes in life.what matters is how many were we able to correct out of those mistakes.


upon writing this post, i have realized that if i will stop and will keep on believing that the country will be hopeless, then how can i see another people to believe for the same hope i have turned my back?


that's the burden i have to carry for myself.

and no, i am not the political messiah, this country is needing. i am just a boy sitting infront of his computer asking it to be faster... hehehe