K still cannot believe it, seeing that well-carved gold wrapped around J's fourth finger.
decades had past. but K could still not stop thinking how fast time have escaped them. how so many things have changed. and how K have not prepared himself from it.
last saturday, it was brighter than expected. a reunion was spontaneously called and after exactly three years, K and J met again.
as usual, everything should remain the same, especially in front of everyone. it was just then that K have realized how good artists they were, never dropped the act even once. how they have lived behind pretensions and most importantly, how he managed to hold on to that weird churning feeling inside his stomach whenever they're together.
it never fails to make K smile. no matter how he try not to.
they drank the entire day, hopping from one bar to another. holding on to that excuse that its been awhile since they have been with each other.
nonetheless, K remain silent the entire time. he busied himself in stealing glances at J, trying to find flaws, and coming up with questions that he might have missed in the process of forgetting and moving on for the past ten years.
how J looks stupid in maintaining that cheap highlight. how ridiculous J's piercings look like. all these time, K believed that he is smart enough to know better. but he guess J is his kryptonite.
K even tried blaming it on adolescent crisis, with immature curiousness, or perhaps with that cheap romance tagalog pocket book he had chance of reading one sunday afternoon. but no matter how he dig deeper, the answers remained weak and refutable.
until K saw J removing the well-carved gold from the fourth finger, as they walked inside a bar full of people.
from then on he realized, there are still things or people left not to be changed--- completely. but what he saw made his thoughts more worst.
In the middle of the party, J stood up and walked away from their table with an excuse of going to the john. But its been almost 30 minutes and J still haven’t returned. Until, behind the thick crowd, K saw J with someone. nonetheless, K tried not to entertain the idea of getting hurt. basically, due to the absence of reason.
when the night ended, J offered K a bike ride to his hotel. there was a strange feeling being in that distance again. all K could do was to hold on to his narrow hips and take the harsh night chill as they go by the moving warm lights, as if bidding their goodbyes to the two.
they talked a lot of things along the way, probably the lengthiest conversation they had for the day. they talked about work, family, taking responsibilities and materializing dreams. for a moment, K felt that they are no longer kids anymore. but what made him moved was the fact that they never really talked about the past, their experiences before, or what was between them--- exactly a decade ago, on one of those humid summer nights, when their raging confusions rushed and engulfed them.
if K can only wish life to be seen in both perspectives just like in the movies.
K bet it will make living a little less complicated.
if only...
