dilemna

countless times that we have experienced falling in love with our friends or heard it to almost every person we knew. some stories ended up more than our notion of a happy ending story. while some close up with a heavy sigh and deep regrets.
almost everyone, once in their lives, experienced this dilemna. how would you know if it is really love? or how would you find out if its pure friendship? is there really a visible boundary between the two? and what are you going to do if you have failed to recognize it?
personally, i really think this is just normal as seawaves crossing and slashing nearby seashores. sometimes emotional investments attached into deep friendships have the natural tendencies to be misinterpreted as something romantic or sexual in context or could be a strong foundation of probably one of the best romantic relationships any man could have.
it begins with questioning one self, starting with the WHYs: why is it i feel unexplainable and overwhelming happiness when i am with him/her? why is it i feel so comfortable and at ease with his/her company, as if i could not hide anything from him/her? why is it i always look for him/her at times when i need company? why is it he or she is at the top of my priority to call to?
then it all leads to the question of WHAT IFs: what if i push our friendship into something romantic? what if she would s/he accept my proposal? what if she would not accept it? what if i couldn't contain the emotions that i am feeling toward him/her anymore? what if i take the risk?
at the end, it all goes to the final and the hardest question to answer, WHAT WILL I DO?

first, know yourself. on this situation, looking for you're worst enemy would only lead you to your self and the best tactic to overcome it is knowing yourself thoroughly. reminiscing and understanding your past romantic patterns would really help. it would also be necessary for previous infatuation and flirtation experiences. in order for you to know and understand the feeling that you are experiencing.

second, clearly define the boundary of friendship and love. at first, it would be natural to feel difficulties to identify, enumerate or elaborate each elements. not to mention the abstract nature of both friendship and love. but

third, think ahead. try imagining the both of you ahead of the time. then ask yourself if it would be better for you picturing it the both of you as friends or as lovers. there are only two possible endings for this story.

*the 'martyr': you maintain your good friendship with him/her. but with a discontented heart.
**the 'lucky one': you remain as good friends and you were able to push your friendship romantically. then you'll live happily ever after.
***the 'kill me, please': you lose your friendship with him/her and you're chance of expressing your feelings to him/her. but you still remain civil, atleast.
****the 'i'm dead!': you lose the friendship. then you're friend begins moving away from you.

fourth, test the friend. the best method to know the outcome is to experiment. try teasing the subject by giving hypothetical situations with not really exact premises. just for him/her not to get any hints about it. from that it would be a good launching point of what to do next.

and lastly, gather enough luck and acceptance as you could get for any outcome that may occur. sometimes it could be the best weapon for these kinds of situations.

manila, me and playing with words

as the rain started pouring really hard for the past days, it seemed like my mind was also clouded of things to write about for my new entry. it had been days that i caught myself just staring on my blog page and thinking of what to post and ended up without nothing to talk about. not because i have restrained by the rain to go out and look for things to think about but solely because i find the weather really dragging. nonetheless, i have decided to post a new entry today.

earlier, i met my mom because of her 'simple request' of accompanying her to buy something around manila area. despite the fact that she knew that i really hate going to manila. but since it is so often that she would ask for something from me and also being a good and obedient son there is nothing left to do but to abide.

its been almost a year now that i have restricted myself only to places within quezon city, ortigas, mandaluyong and makati, except mendiola since my former school was there. well this is for the very lame reason of, i find it very realist. manila for me has been the epitome of a developing city that was stock in the middle of suburban to urban life-setting and is beginning to fade its hope of moving forward. the entire place has this dark gothicly but interesting mood for me, like batman's gotham city. in which, personal curiousity would push you to step forward to its streets. but its dark and mysterious shade would trigger your instict not to pursue. manila is flourishing with rich traces of its history and vibrant colors of vast cultural diversity. but was covered with dust and ashes of lame promises of modernity and urbanization.

probably what i am trying to say is that manila is something striving to be in between: past and the present: elegance and poverty: simplicity and complexity. religion and crime. it is not in perfect balance but it is
struggling to be near close.

that day, we went to manila and no taxi would want to take us there. since the road passing espana was submerged in flood. so me and my mom decided to take a fx to quiapo.

along the way, you'll noticed the abrupt change of quezon city to manila. the long stretch that begins with a wet and relatively bright road gradually transforming to a dirt-colored floodwater submerged path decorated with plastic wrappers, twigs, leaves etc. as you have passed welcome rotonda.

vehicles are slowing down as they passed the streets. cars and motorcycles were dancing in the middle of the road thinking what street would they pass to avoid hip-height rainflood. there were some who were stranded in the traffic blocking other vehicles to get pass through. just imagine the traffic jam, patience and time that we've struggled to get through. people were just passing through as if the entire picture was just a normal, everyday scence. street children were happily running and swimming through as if for the first time again, they have regained their youth.

i just thought, at times when i despise and wish the rain would stop. there are actually over a million of street children praying at the same time too. pleading for the rain not to stop. because only on this situation they could realize they are still children.

saging lang ang may puso contest

i bursted laughing and in tears when i thought of thinking of posting.

mechanics: just simply act like mark lapid in his movie apoy sa dibdib ng samar



contestant 1:



contestant 2:



contestant 3:



contestant 4:



contestant 5:




there we have it. now, pick your winner.

hahaha...ang sakit sakit na na tiyan ko...

p.s.
hahaha...mark lapid at kung sino man ang writer nito. iba kayo, marami kayong binigyang pag asa! hahaha