outside the circle (part1)

someone once told me that no matter how old you are, how vast your experiences and how fascinating the conversations you may have been, the greatest stories in life are still yet to come. and most of us fail to witness these, because such usually happen outside our circle and many of us tend not to go outside of it.

i always wondered how is it like to have someone or a friend that is completely different from the ones you currently have. but don't get me wrong. for i am very and ever be grateful with the friends that i have at present. we may have our own litny versions on how lucky we are to have our friends. but probably mine would be the quote from claudine barreto (or whoever she may have quoted this line) which was, "i don't know how good i was in my past life to deserve them in this life time." nonetheless, these are just thoughts that usually pass by once in a while. just like now.

believe it or not, when i was in college, i had an actual list of people which i want to have as friends. these people vary in terms of personalities, class, lifestyles and most of all, life stories. for i rather listen than talk when it comes to conversations different from my usual.

but i almost forgot all about it. until tonight when i tried reorganizing some of my archives in my room and found the actual list. the feeling while i was reading that piece of paper was unexplainable. there were so many memories that popped out in my head that my system got confused and didn't know what emotion/s it needed to trigger up. nonetheless, one thing is for sure. it really made me smile and completed my day.

basically, the list includes a prostitute, a priest, an abortionist, a farmer, a cross dresser, a skyscrapper, an embalmer or coroner, a sexy starlet, a clown, a prisoner, an asylum patient and someone with a terminal ailment such as an AIDS victim. after reading it, i tried checking which among the items in the list can i already put a name into.

first, i have maco, a prostitute that me and jamie met in burnham park when we were in college. he became a respondent for our case studies in separate classes. i remember that during that conversation, i have realized that i am actually hearing a different story from the ones me and jamie were actually expecting. there i have learned to never speculate what your respondent will answer in a research.

maco was actually a boatman before becoming a callboy. surprisingly, he confessed to us that it was not really money that drove him to enter the business. at first, it was peer pressure. a couple of his friends, who were also male prositutes, invited him to try it atleast just for one night and out of curiousity, he did. he told us that it wasn't really what he expected. there were no regrets nor guilt eating up his dignity: that he actually liked it: that it didn't really matter to him if he was doing it to a man or a woman: that probably he might be a pervert but atleast he was acting on what he believes would satisfy him. thus, he stayed and continued doing it.

it was already in my senior year when i came across with him again while walking in session road. probably after more than a year or so, i was still able to recognize him. he was with a group of 5 or more men. and in a way, i know that he still recognizes me judging by the way he looked at me during that time. i also remember that i was shouting and looking for jamie's name in my head. then we were about to pass each other he smiled and raised his brows at me. and yes, i raised my brows too as a response. then smiled after he passed by my side.


to be continued...